Why'd you have to do it baby, do it to me?

Monday, July 15, 2002 ~ 7:26 a.m.

And so it goes, another long week of dragging myself out until I cannot move a muscle and am too tired to have any fun with my money/time off on the weekends.

I feel so very alone. I went out with Salls, Cassidy and Sall's sister last night (also Stinker), and it just.. was so sad. I was grumpy and snappy with everyone, upset and moody. I'm making myself very difficult to love and I'm not sure why. I haven't seen Paige for days, Jacey for even longer. I feel left out at RD once again. Maybe I'll just quit.. it doesn't make sense to keep beating myself up over something so silly as an online game..

but then again, who am I kidding? I've met some awesome people through RD that have helped make me into a better person. It's just that lately, I'm so jealous of everyone/everything that goes on there that I can't even function properly when I do get to see all the people that I love. -Sigh.-

I cried all weekend long, on and off, of course. I was having a 'decent' night with Salls and Cassidy on Saturday night but of course, on the way home (they went home with Cassidy's dad), I had to ask mom about what it's like when the dogs get the injection.

And then last night, this dog that looked so much like Tootsie came up to me at the ice cream stand and wiggled and tried to love all over me but I just sent it away, screaming hysterically at it and then burst into tears, right in the middle of the townsite. I feel dumb. I feel alone.

I cried all weekend.